Lost in Translation | Ep. 13

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Worth the Walk, where two sisters chat about generations, raising kids, and family life with honesty, heart, and plenty of laughs. No perfection here, people, just real conversation as we walk it all out together. Let's get started. It is a Sunday morning in June, and it's fabulous.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Good morning. In unison. In stereo. It's like we practice. One, two, three. Good morning.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Yeah, I didn't practice that either. What a fabulous, beautiful week. Oh my gosh. You like my tan? Look, you've been outside every day. I have.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Like a true farmer.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

I have. Like a farmer. I really am. I have got mosquito bites to show it. I cut them up my back. I have mosquito bites like in the center of my back. So I was right down, digging down where my flow, my um, where I planted my assers. Asters? Asters, yes, correct. That's where I put my I think we should just call them assers from now on. I just call them. For some reason I thought they were spelled A-S-E-R. But I guess there is got to be a T in there. So it doesn't matter. Let us focus again. So yeah, so it's been beautiful. And I'm not complaining about this rain today at all. I mean, I really kind of need it. I planted those new flowers out front, so I really would like to have some rain.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Yeah, and I haven't got my watering system set up quite how I need it at home just yet. Actually, we have um a hose. So my where I have my little, I have a little garden, a little raised bed where I do vegetables, and we run the hose from the house all the way across the yard down to the other part. But we have a connection that we're gonna put at the, I call it the cottage. Oh, that what a great idea. Forgot about it. We have a water connection, so we're gonna put a hose there. It'll just make things so much easier. Yes. And then I planted all my window. I have like four window boxes, and I did three pots. I still have a couple more to go.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

It looks so good. No, thank you. Like you like, it's like you professionally found beds and you put them there. Oh I so John said to me, you know, next year we're we're doing our own because you see my beautiful one out front. Did you see the size of that one? It's what I have in the front.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Yeah. Yeah. So uh I found a nursery, which I mean I probably didn't find it, I'm sure every people, in Great Britain. Village. Great village.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

What do I call it? Great Britain going across the pond to get our flowers. How bougie. Oh yeah. It's quite a journey. I've shipped from England. Got on a plane. That's how I do it.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Exactly. Like bouquet, flowering. Let's talk about my pop. Great village. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go to Great Britain next year. That's the camera I gotta go with.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I don't have luck with petunias. Those are petunias. And I mean, they're gorgeous. I love them. I don't know what it is. I can't keep them alive. They get all leggy. They're either watered too much or they're not in the right location. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

So I've always had petunias in that beautiful cast iron pat that I no. Last year I actually got some other different things, didn't I? But they all died. Doesn't matter. So I found that one. It is the largest plant I've ever seen hanging. And I had to lowland gardens. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

That's where you went, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Low hanging gardens.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Lowland.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

How did you realize? How did you know that?

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Because it's a beautiful nursery, and I actually need to go. I want to go.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Well, I'm going back again because they had so many unique annuals that I went, are you kidding me? Like these are beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

And Charlie the tree guy, he has trees out there too.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Oh, does he? Yes. So I don't know. Great trees. I don't know if I need to. I'd like to have trees on my my my fence line from one, you know, that side of the fence and then the other side of the fence. I'd like to have lots of trees there, but I mean, I'll be dead before they're full trees. Oh, plant them. You can tell. I know.

unknown 4:07

I know.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

So, anyways, I was gonna tell you the flowers. Did you look at the little basket I got? Little wheel there. See my little wheel there? Did you there's purple daisies in that basket? I know. I didn't look at it. I'm gonna have to look again. They are so gorgeous. I'm sure it's probably not their real name, daisies, but they look like a daisy, like a white and yellow daisy, except they're purple. And I fell in love with them. So that's what I put in that basket, and that's why I was so excited about them.

unknown 4:35

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

I know I love them too.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Oh my gosh, they're gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

I know, aren't they beautiful? Yes. They're so unique. And that's why I grabbed them. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Aren't they beautiful? They look like daisies, but they're be they're purple. So, anyways, uh, that was me yesterday. I got up early and I went to my antiquing thrift story kind of thing. I know we're not really going down the path of our conversation, but I I just got carried away. All I could think about was what am I gonna put in my garden? It's gotta be uniquely different. I didn't, I was looking for like an ornament, like a, you know, like a giant wheelbarrel for my front yard, you know, or those big, huge wagon wheels. So I found three wagon wheels at the antique store and they were big. Their price was a little outside my market. So I asked her if they come down. She says, Yeah, they normally do. Sometimes, you know, if he's got other stuff coming in, he'll want to get rid of the bigger stuff. So but I couldn't uh justify that that three day number. Yeah, it was uh it was okay it was a little higher. Like you know, my beauty one out there. I think I got that for 150. That was the guy who was selling, it was an estate sale, right? That's right. And I mean that's that's well worth every penny of it. That was heavy.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Were you two we have we inherited when we bought our property?

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Oh gorgeous.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Yeah, they are quite nice. I mean, they're so so heavy.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Yeah, that's like this one. That one took me forever to get in the car because it was it's it was three of them. Like it was him.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Having a visual of you rolling out because you didn't have like a big vehicle then, it was literally a car.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

It was. Oh my gosh. And I was like, every ounce of muscle. And I'm trying to think who was with me because I'm pretty sure Gloria was down at that moment. That's funny. I know it was it was, anyways, it was heavy. It was Gloria. It Glory and I went to pick that. It was so frigging heavy. And we're trying to put it in the car. And the man came over and his son came and said between the two of them, they put it in the car. And so when we got home, I just looked at it and said, best of luck, John, Paul, you guys, it's yours. Right. Work work with that baby. But that was worth every penny of it. That's a gorgeous one. But I just I couldn't bring it up. I do love getting a deal.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

I like getting a deal.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Well, and I like to bargain a little bit. Well, I I I did go in and ask, right? And they were not up for the conversation yesterday. But it wasn't meant to be, and that's okay. Because I came on with that beautiful uh tub that you see out there, that huge antique water watering can, and I put a flower on the water. I was I was pleased with myself. It's really nice. I like it. Yeah. So that was me yesterday. And uh then I spent the last part of the day weeding my front, you know, that that whole thing going up and down my try.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Our wheelbarrow must have weighed a hundred pounds. So no wonder your your back has been a little sore. Well, you came over to like get some respite at my place, and no wonder your back is sore. Yeah, I wonder what I did to my back.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Yeah, that's what you did.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Yeah, yeah. That's what you did.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

That hot tub was great. Poor Minnie though. Minnie Minnie got swimmer tail uh with all her swimming up and down and everything. Silly dog's got no cutoffs to so that's it. She saw.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

If you throw the stick, she will go for it. Build it out and she's in pain or not.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Build it and they will come. That's right. We'll talk about that later. Yes, we will. So, anyways, that's that's my yesterday. I'm trying to think about the whole week. The whole week was just it literally was, I'm gonna use the word farming, even though it was planting and weeding and gardening and fixing. And um, I've already done some cuts on my herbs with my peppermint and my basil, and it's already dried in this little container and labeled and amazing. I know. I feel like Susan, oh my god. I didn't bake anything though.

unknown 8:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Well, and I said I was going to. And here's the thing I self-doubt creeps in a little. And we'll talk about her one step better as we go on. But I had it all planned. I was gonna try this new adventure, and then I'm like, oh, what if nobody likes it? What if nobody wants to, or what if somebody like criticizes something, and then I'm thinking, oh, okay, let me just park my idea for a bit. I love baking for people who are in my life and love me because they have to eat it or they can't know it. No, I just have to eat it and we love it. Yeah, man, do we love your cooking? I don't know. For others too. I'm thinking, oh gosh, can I really do I want to take that on? So I'm just mulling, I'm mulling, mulling over my idea. And then as I'm mulling my idea, it morphs into a bigger idea. So again, we'll talk about it a little later.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

We're gonna walk right into that one because it's brilliant and I love it. Yeah. And you can cook up a storm. And when I say cook, I shouldn't, I should say bake. I can cook for a lot of people quickly. You are.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

So safe never seen. I mean, we've often been just at home, and then all of a sudden we have people we have a lot of people in our home, and no one will leave hungry. I will make sure you eat. I'm going to have to tell everybody who's listening.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

I've never seen a woman put together a soup and a fish and a entire meal in like no notice. Oh, I can make a soup, but I'm thinking to myself, I've got seven weeks I can plan and I think I could still couldn't put a soup together, right? Thanksgiving. I've got a bird that's got like a 50-pound bird with the carcass and all of that. And they, oh, throw it in a pot and you'll make soup. It's still in the freezer. I have no idea what to do with it. What am I doing with this blood? Oh gosh. But you have got a talent. Thanks. It doesn't matter. And it's all good. It's not like, oh, I I'll I'll throw it in a fryer or something, or whip. Hey, Claudette opens up a box of frozen uh hors d'oeuvres and serves them out to everybody.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

So you whip up a storm. We have the gene because our mother also could do this. Oh my god. Now remember, there's a story that was told in the 70s back in Sydney. I would have just been born. That's correct. Or I maybe was in conception, who knows? But there was a strike with Marine Atlantic. That's right. And it was in the summertime, it was July. Yep. And at that time, all of our family from Newfoundland had come over to Nova Scotia. I don't know if it was an event.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

It wasn't actually all of them came over. All of them were in the mainland. They had staggered their vacations, but they got stuck because they couldn't get home. And everybody who would have visited mom and dad, you know, sparingly to say, here's a day, here's a week, here's an hour, here's a whatever. They all ended up at mom and dad's. And I'm going to say there were 26 people in mom and dad's little hot house in Sydney. And was it Sydney though, Cher? It was North Sydney. It was North Sydney. Okay. And everybody was staying there. Um, and poor mom, she's doing her best, and her sisters all came together. Dad's family too. Yep. And they baked and they just went out and um bought out the stores and uh made whatever needed to be made and cooked whatever needed to be cooked. And it didn't matter if you had a bed, didn't have a bed. Mom made sure you had a pillow and a blanket, and everybody was happy with whatever they got at that particular time.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yeah. No. I'm trying to see if there was anything online about how long the strike went on. Because it was um the 1976 National Day of Impact. Oh, that was CN. But I can't, it went on for a while. Oh long enough that they had people. They were sleeping on the floors, they were making meals extend, but it was and my mother-in-law, I have taken very good notes from her. My mother-in-law Anne, she can make wonderful meals for many people on very short notice. She can, she can do it.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

So I can do it. Um mine aren't as from scratch as what you do. So I can I can put together a party for 30 or 40 people and and love every friggin' second of it, right? I mean, our boxing day. I live for it. Live for the, oh what, there's 20, oh, there's 30, there's 40. Okay, that's fine, whoever, right? But uh, you can cook from the ground up, right? You you've got the bare ingredients and you can just make it together. I love to have a lot of stuff done for me, and I can put it all together to make it last and be big and serve all, right? Yeah. And nobody goes hungry. Nobody's nobody's leaving hungry. Nobody's leaving without a plate. That's right. Nobody leaves my stuff that's staying here. Take it all with you. That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Your party. Nobody leaves without a plate. Oh, I made these amazing squares yesterday. I should have brought you one this morning.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Oh, come on. What's wrong with me?

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Did not bring it here. Oh, I'm saving you one. There's still something. I'm gonna. What did you make? Tell me. It's just like, I mean, our mom used to make it all the time. It's got a shortbread bottom, and then it has like this really good layer of like, it's like cream cheesy, creamy, whipped creamy middle, and then it has like a pudding layer on top, and then more pecans, and then whipped creamy. Oh, it's so delicious. Oh, it's delicious. It's awesome. It's a really easy dessert, but it's just it's like a yummy one.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

So how was dinner last evening? Oh, yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

It's weird when your adult children drop in for a visit from move out because I don't see her. We text throughout the week, and then I see her on the weekend, it's just like, oh, this is great. I found a bunch of stuff of yours here. Take it away. No, no, it was really nice to see Sylvia.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

I'm so glad. I wish I had seen her. Yeah, yeah. We didn't do much. Uh we had a later supper, though. Simply we were so busy with doing everything around here. So, anyways, let us let us dive into a little bit of a conversation. So, a lot passed through my mind uh when you said to me, Hey, what's the topic? And I kind of battled up all this stuff through my head. And then I thought, good Lord, let's have a nice long conversation about uh communication. And he said, Well, what do you mean? So when I communicated with my kids when they were younger, I felt I was speaking clearly. And I'll give you an example. And I'd say to my son, could you please go clean up your room? And he'd say, Well, go pick up the stuff in your room, please. So he would go to his room and pick it up and put it on his bed. He did what I said, but not what I wanted. So, you know.

unknown 14:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

I mean, and then I thought, okay, let's let's that's that's part of communication. And then you think about your husbands, right? I've had full-on conversations with my husband who is two cushions away from me. And I'll go, well, what do you think? And he just looks at me and goes, What? What? Did you say something? Did you say were you talking to me? There's not another person in the entire thing. I thought you were on the phone. Yeah. So I mean, communication. And it's how our words get lost, or how we think we're saying something. And I'm in this podcast, you know, I feel like I'm making a good conversation, but what's being heard on the other end? Is it is it what I meant? You know, did it have the true feeling of the words I say? And there's nothing worse. Now, in my professional life, there would be times that I would say to everybody, do not do that in an email. Have the conversation or text. Yeah. Because a person on the other end is reading it in the emotions they are today. Right. So if you are in a very bad mood and I send you a text message that says, Sherry, what are you doing? You would think to yourself, Sherry, what are you doing? What do you mean? What the hell am I doing? I'm just sitting like, or you would think, what are you doing? You think, oh my gosh, Claudette wants to get together today. I should see what's going on. Or you're very, very sad. What are you doing? And you just think, I don't want to answer that. I don't know what's going on. I'm not in the mood. So communication via word on an electronic device to somebody else, you don't know how they're reading it. How are they taking those words in the emotions that they're currently experiencing? Are they angry and reading it in a tone of anger in their mind without really realizing that's what they're doing? Or are they reading it in a very happy one? And the reason I thought about this is there was the I'm probably not going to be able to find it on here, but there's a conversation with the two S and L characters. And one is sitting on the couch and he's holding his phone and he's having a beer sitting back, quite relaxed. And the other guy is getting dressed. He's got a suit on and everything like this. He's getting all dressed up. And he sends the message to his friend and he says, Oh, shoot, Keegan's been texting me.

SPEAKER_05 17:11

Sorry, dude, missed your text. I assumed we'd meet at the bar. Whatever. I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Sorry, dude, missed your texts. I assumed we'd meet at the bar. Whatever I don't care. Whatever I don't care.

SPEAKER_04 17:31

What the f is his problem? Do you even want to hang out? Do you even want to hang out? Oh, that's considerate. Like I said, whatever. Like I said, whatever? F this guy.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

What do you mean you don't care? How can you not care that we're going out, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:53

So it's like a split screen. It just shows them like the reading. Oh, I see, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

And and and the communication was the guy on the couch is all sitting back relaxed. It's like, no, I don't care. Pick a time. And the other guy in the end's all dressed and ready to run, right? You don't care that we're going out? Yeah. Right? That they said, oh no, I don't care what time. I don't care what you do. What do you mean you don't care what I do? So, and I've had that conversation.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

I think we all, I think we've all had that, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Where you're sending a text message and you're just like, sure, it doesn't matter. That's literally what you're saying. And on the other end, they received it and says, Well, if it doesn't matter to you, it doesn't matter to me.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

So that's emotion in a text. Yeah. So I have a story where back when Avery lived home with us. This is before he he moved. He was had graduated from university and he had been living home until he was, or he was away and he was home for a little while. And anyway, he was a it was probably four years, three or four years ago. And he was getting ready to have a barbecue with some of the friends at the house. And he said, I'm gonna go out to the store and pick up a few things. He said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave. So he left the house and I knew he was going to go to the liquor store. So I texted him and I said, Hey, could you pick me up a bottle of red wine? Period. He texts me back. Sure. What did you have in mind? What wine would you like? And I texted back, capital B bread, lowercase, and capital B butter, period. Bread and butter. This is my favorite. You know where I'm going with this story? This is my favorite wine, bread and butter. This is U.S. wine that we get. Okay. I get it. So he says, so then I put my phone down, I go outside. He's texting me back, but okay, I can get that too. But what kind of wine do you want? I never saw the text because I literally left my phone, went out, started doing whatever, told Charles, hey, awesome. Avery's going to pick us up wine. We don't have to make an extra trip. So Avery gets home. He bought whatever wine he just figured would work. Any kind of red wine he finds a bottle of red wine. And then he had the bread, a blow of bread, and he had a stick of the butter. He's like, here's what you wanted. And I'm like, why do you want it? Why is there a lot of bread and butter on the counter? It's like you literally texted me you wanted bread and butter. I was like, oh my God, you had to have laughed for about a day. Died. We were just like, oh, I definitely see how miscommunication, I really was not specific. The wine I want is literally called bread and butter. I can see now how you'd be confused.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

I know. So and I've had this. Like, there's not a person out there that hasn't had that same reference of communication, right? I mean, like the number of times that John and I have communicated and I've said to him, you know, would you do A, B, or C? And none of them are coming back to me right now because I think there's a trillion up there. None will float to the front of my brain. And he'll go off and do it. And I'll look, well, that's kind of the gist of what I said. Bat on me. I get that. That makes sense. Not even close to where I was going with my story, but that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

So I work in public affairs.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

So I have se why public affairs is now called communications in many professions across. I mean, some people still call it public affairs, perhaps, but I see it more communications and marketing or communications. And I was in communications for almost 17, 18 years at the airport. I was in the public relations, public affairs. Anyway, public. The word public, you don't see it a lot because the first lesson, like 101, don't forget the L. Pubic Affairs has been typed more times. It's a very different topic of discussion. But I know I'm gonna be honest. I don't have a rear written. I don't have a public relations degree. I don't have any of those, but I have 17 years' experience of working under some of the best public relations. Professionals in our province, or I mean, quite frankly, like my my bosses that I've had over the 17 years are v extremely, extremely talented people. And they really took me under their wing and they they taught me how to do a lot of what I did. So while I don't have the degree, I I was up in public relations doing uh many wonderful things. And well, I thought they were wonderful anyway. Uh did really cool stuff too. But that was the first I remember. I remember like being very like starting in on this, and I guarantee I probably was told because I didn't typed P-U-B-I. Read it very, very carefully. Uh we're gonna call ourselves communications now, folks. So just drop the public. We're not gonna go away. We're communications, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

We're learning how to communicate correctly. That's so good. Yeah. Oh God, I would literally die. I really would. But there's been all kinds of times I've sent emails in in this haste to do six things at once, right? Type it up quickly, get it out, get to the next thing, answer the thing. Or I've been watching or part of a meeting, listening to something else in my ear and trying to answer, and probably doing this. And I have sent some incorrect emails. Incorrect emails. And you're just like, oh Lord, okay, we gotta back that one up. So I I just can't stress enough how important it is to think about how you talk or how you listen to anybody else. I mean, be it a parent or a mother or a friend or a sister or a podcast, right? We we we say our we say what's in our brain, but we don't know how the person on the other end is receiving what we think is coming out of our mouth. I I've said a variety of things that I've said to people, and I've I've meant it like for my heart and who I was, but on the receiving end, it was like, well, that was rude. And I just think, oh my head, like, what did I say? Like, I can't wrap my head around with the words because I can't get there. And I find right now and today there's a lot of that. We mean such beautiful things, but they're not being received the way they're coming out.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

And that's hard, right? But the most thing I'd like to talk about is the kids and communicating with our kids. So I know that how I communicated to my children is drastically different than how they communicate today. Mine was a lot of tell, right? Go do this, right? No, I said no. Um, uh, you know, eat what's in front of you, right? All of that. There wasn't a lot of, well, what tell me how you feel. Like, how did that make you feel? How did it work for you? Tell me what you heard you said. So as I came along in my career, I stopped doing a lot of this is what you do, A, B, C, focus on this, get that dumb. I gave it to you, just do it. It has been more of I would uh do a presentation of of a learning, right? I'd say, to do this, you have to do A, B, and C. And then I'd stop and say, Did you hear what I said? Could someone repeat back to me what I said to them? And I would get the strangest feedback and think, okay, I wait, so that's not where I was going. So I'm gonna stop over, start over, and I'm gonna focus on A until we figured out what A means. So I've changed how I've communicated a lot over my 30-year career, right? Instead of just standing in front, handing paper and say, do it, and this is it, right? You know, I told you, did you not listen? I became more of a listener and a communicator. I stopped what I was doing and said, okay, if I tell you to type on this keyboard in alphabetical order, did you hear what I said? Or are you gonna take the keyboard and work from left to right and just do A S D F G, because that was the order in which, or did I tell you to do it A, B, C, D? And it's amazing the number of people who come back to you and put it in A S D F, which is the keyboard. Because you said go on the keyboard and do it in alphabetical order and you're gonna just gonna use what they see on the key. It's it's really funny how you think you're being so clear in your words, but unfortunately. So listening is such a skill.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

You can hear and not listen, right? You can hear, you can hear the words, but listening is something you need to practice. Like listening is be and when you listen, there's so many other things that you can hear if you get in tune enough with it, right? You can tone a voice, expression of face. And that's why face-to-face communication is so important. That's why this the texting or the emails, that's why everything gets lost in translation. I think, but like when you really listen to and say you're listening to someone who you know, like you and I know each other very, very well. You and I, you and I can text each other, and we can also see past the words. The words. We can see past the words because you and I know each other very well.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

And it's the it's how it's typed. For you and I, it's how it's typed. Yes. Because if it's short, it's one word or two word, I know for a fact you are distracted with something else.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Yes, you're busy. I don't, it's not personal, it's not directed at me. Nope. It's and same vice versa. I feel I know the same thing. I we know each other. We have we're comfortable enough with that. There's all kinds of people in my life who I'm comfortable with knowing that if the response I get, it's because there's other factors happening. And I don't. If you don't know someone, you have to, you have to tune up your listening skills to a totally other level to tune in. And you have to turn on a side of yourself that's empathetic. And uh, you know, you could turn on your turn on your all your emotions because you're you're trying to, you know, you're assessing the situation. You know what I mean? You're like, what are we really saying? Because sometimes you don't always say what you mean when you don't know someone very well. You say things that guarded. You guarded. Sometimes you're you use words or you use politically correct statements. You don't want to be offensive either. You have all kinds of communications where you you you put on a little bit of a face where you're you're protecting yourself or you're protecting someone else or some yeah, you have to protect your brand. Whole there's a lot of stuff going on. Tons tons of things happening where you when you're communicating with people that you don't know very well or don't know at all, and then people that you communicate with often.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

And face-to-face is is so important. And we lost that six years ago, right? That whole face-to-face conversation or the face-to-face meeting or the relationship, the bonding, the growing, the child who was born in that era, right? I mean, it's it's hard, right? That was all gone. Like it must be far away. You have to have the mask on to cover it. And one of the things that I've noticed, um, and when we go back with the mask on the face, children didn't know how to relate. They they can't see the expression, so they don't know it, right? And so there's a fear. And children aren't normally born with fear. It it becomes something that they learn, right? Inherently through whatever a reaction a loved one would have given them. Um then if you put the mask on, they don't know what to see. And what I've seen with with dad for his caregiver who came in, or caregivers who would come in uh that had to wear it, either they were unwell, or maybe there was something happening else in the home, or perhaps dad was unwell that day or whatever, right? And those that came in with the mask, dad was extremely a different communicator. He didn't know how to relate to them because he couldn't see the fish the facial. Even though their voice was calm, the words they were saying were calm, and they were polite and their actions were calm, but he couldn't see the facial actions, right? He couldn't see the smile that went beyond behind the mask. And his uh approach to that, or being in, you know, um his state of mind that particular day, maybe was one of his bad days, right? Or maybe one of his goods, but if he couldn't understand what was being said simply because the muffle of the mask and the smile that he couldn't see, dad started to decline those days when those caregivers came in with the masks on, right? So it's no different with any type of communication, right? If we can't see or perceive the message that's being sent to us, we'll receive it in where we are. Right? Are we happy, are we sad, are we mad? Are we scared? We'll receive the message the way we're feeling that day. So that's why texts and emails are so difficult. I have the uhums today. So the communication with your children is no different. Communication with your husband, your your your significant other is no different. If you're communicating in in an emotion that they're not experiencing at that same time, communication needs to be clearly defined. I'm not feeling myself today. I'm a little bit upset. I'm gonna tell you something. I'd like you to hear what I'm saying before you give me an emotion back.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

And I'm sure you and John find this too. I mean, Charles and I have been married 29 years, and our communication has evolved over, you know, we communicate so much better now than we did early on, obviously. It grows and it evolves, you know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

So Italian Johnny out there, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Italian Johnny. Kate Breton Charlie is Italian Johnny.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

That's what we're calling him. That's right. I love it. His emotions were always a part of his communication. But I I grew to his emotions because he was loud always. But his loudness varied according to what was happening.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

I was gonna tell you, Claudia, you are quite loud.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

I know.

unknown 32:02

I know.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

But his emotions, I mean his his tone was always exuberant. Yeah, right? Oh, yeah. You know, so whatever he answered, you always was full, right? But I could always tell by that fullness, whether it was an anger full, a happy full, a nervous full. It was oh, and everybody who would hear him communicating with me, they'd say, Oh my gracious, is everything okay?

SPEAKER_02 32:24

Yeah, well, that's John.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

We're having a great conversation. What do you mean? What's going on? So, but we've been together 40 years this year, right? So, I mean, we barely communicate because I'll be doing something, he'll say, Um, you know, the other night, um, we were both sitting on the couch. We had chicken out in the refrigerator. I was sitting on the couch and it was my bad back, and I was trying to fix it up, and he was watching a horse race, I'm pretty sure. And he looked at me, he goes, Chinese. And I looked at him, I said, I was literally just looking at it. He says, 'Yeah, I know. He said, let's do Chinese.' So there's not even the need for these long conversations to get to the other side because we've we're so embedded in emotional. We know each other so intimately.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

I think we should study this.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

There's something about connected telepathy. Telepathy. But communication it is, it evolves.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

It's a skill. It is absolutely and you have to work on it. Yeah, don't take things for granted. You have to you have to work at communication, I think, in any form. Even with people that you've known for a very long time. Your whole life. Yeah. You have to, you still have to, you have to work on your communication with the people that you that you talk to all the time and the people that you yeah are just.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

The summary of all of our communication talk was, as I interrupted you as you were communicating to me, was think about your words and don't always assume the person on the other end knows who you are, how you're feeling, what it is you want to say, and the actual request being made, even if it's a hi, how are you? It literally is figure out who you're talking to and try to say it the best you can. That's not really what I wanted to say because that's hard to say. I mean, because I'll only talk honestly. I I I I mean, I can only hope that you hear what I say, right?

SPEAKER_00 34:18

I ask questions. I don't know. Amelia, what did you mean?

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm gonna ask. Yeah. Again, it's you know, don't make assumptions on the other end of the line, be it face-to-face, telephone, email, or anything else. You have no idea the person on the other end receiving it, who and how they are.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

And power of words. So words are powerful too. So yeah, everybody needs to wield them carefully.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yeah. And you also don't have any idea of the person receiving it where they're at. Is their ego high? Is it low? Are they sad? Are they happy? Are they mad? Are they struggling and not even hearing you? Because you said sometimes you can speak and nobody even hears you. If there is 6,000 things going on upstairs in their head, right? Meaning maybe they need to have the bills paid, maybe they've got a child homesick that day. Um, maybe you know they just had a bumper accident just before they came in. So that's all in their head. So you gave them all the directions, they're smiling at you and all of that. They walked away and they didn't hear anything you had to say. So you don't know. Ask a question. Make sure it's all listened to correctly.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

I feel like this conversation could evolve into so many different avenues. I'm just as you're talking, I'm thinking, like, imagine a legal conversation. Those are conversations I don't I don't enjoy.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

No.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

You ever sit down and have like a legal conversation about things? It's like, oh my goodness. Two in the last couple of months, right? Two in the last couple of months. Like, come on. Can we just spit it out? Like, just state it. Say it. Say the words. Say actual words. Yeah. Like actual words, not like legal ease. I have a 40-page will. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

I don't have anything to give away, people. I got a 40-page will.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Yeah. So there's like there's so many different kinds of communication. Oh my gosh. Come on, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Just give me a break.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah. Sometimes just spit that shit.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

I don't know. Bullet points are great. I love it. I love a good bullet point list. That's it. I mean, that's six points.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Check them one off after the other and off that front door.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

I'm a get it done. List or something.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

A to-do list. Great communication tool. To do. List it out. That's it. Check it off as you get it done.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

I have expectations. Come on. Johnny has my expectation list. Bump, bump, bump. There's no directions. I don't know how you do it. Right. I don't even have a wind. Sticky notes. Love it.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Love them. Push that pep right there.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

That's it. Move. Save. Picture. Throw out. Picture to John on my screen. Recycle. No. Recycle to John. No, I said a screenshot. Yeah, you're gonna make that. I there's no instructions. Great.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

I didn't even get instructions. Picture has a thousand words. There you go. I did a thousand words. There you go. See? Communication. So many different ways to communicate. That's it. There is. We can communicate with just our eyes. You and I can, yes. Right now. It's happening.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Okay, we're moving into the next stage. Next stage of a conversation. One step better. All right. Yeah. Oh. Come on, we can do it. So I'm gonna review mine. Yeah. I did simple this week. I really did. Mine was going thrift shopping. So I went to at least a half a dozen. Didn't buy anything in the local ones here in town. Um there wasn't anything that was just jumping out and speaking at me. The antiques I went to in Great Village, not Great Britain. I will get to Great Britain sometime. Kim listens to us. I'm coming over to that pond anytime soon. So, anyways, I found some of the most beautiful little things. So I got my bells, my brass bells. They're heavy. They're so brass bells. Were they?

SPEAKER_00 38:02

Your brass bells? You just did a hand gesture and it wasn't for bells. Don't it wasn't it was not a bell gesture, let me just say. Heavy brass bells, all right. Okay. So much better.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

My bells are beautiful. My my thanks for my garden. I do I'm gonna send you a picture, you're gonna put it up. I just love the the uh the tin galvanized tin. I got I oh, I love it. I saw it, it was back in a room, and all the stuff inside of it, and I thought, I want that. So I took all the stuff that was like that they were displaying in it, and I got that. Awesome. I know um, I had a great day. I just loved going around to all of the stores. I mean, there was a lot of stuff in there, but where my mind was at when I was walking through the stores, I didn't get distracted on all the other small trinkets around that I would normally say, Oh, I like that, that's pretty. And I just had that focus. I just loved it.

SPEAKER_00 39:03

Yeah, I love going in with like uh a purpose or like something you have in mind. And then if you find it when you're it's like uh it's like winning the lottery. It is, it's it's like winning the lottery. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

And um, that was it. That was my that was my thing I wanted to do. I did it and I loved it. And I was not that I was I love when you shot with me, but I would have been distracted if you had come. We were gonna get together, we're gonna do it together. Yep. I was kind of I'd still like to do another one. Oh, yeah, but there's other stuff to see. Yeah, and I only did Great Village, so there's a thousand other ones.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

There's the one in the barn in the valley. Uh we should go.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

That's the Annapolis Valley one. I think we can I think you might have luck finding your quail at that time or pheasant.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:41

Okay, okay. Fingers crossed. And I did ask all the shops I went to.

SPEAKER_00 39:45

Did you really pheasants?

SPEAKER_01 39:46

Oh, they didn't. They didn't love you. Thank you. So, anyways, that was me. Yeah, that's what I did. Okay. Now we're gonna you're gonna talk about it. You're gonna give your whole journey.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Well, it hasn't, I haven't really started the journey. It's really just a concept right now. I did go, I went for a walk on my trail. That was great. Went in front of the little hike. I should have taken it with me. But it was more like a trail like we did before. And I know you want to go off in the woods. And honestly, I'm a little traumatized by the tick experience. So we're just let's just park that mushroom finding adventure for until I can let's get this tick thing. Yes, okay. All I need to prepare with good socks. Um, so yes, so I had this idea where I really want to, I want to, I have this idea of baking these little individual little cakes. I bought the pan, I even have the pans, I have the recipes, I have the ingredients, I have everything to do it, and I'm my self-doubt is holding me back. And then as I'm, I mean, somebody needs to analyze this because I'm self-doubting myself on making these cakes, but then I have this grand idea to do a farm stand to put at the end of my driveway where I can like sell cookies and the I make product like uh jams and jellies, and I want John to make his crows, and then I thought, well, and then you can wheel the farm stand out and wheel it back in.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

Yeah, it's an amazing idea. And the one you sent me, the bigger one, right? Oh my gosh, it's beautiful. And I've already given John the list of things he's making. So he's got a thousand little uh uh wooden things. And by the way, that communication went something like this. Oh, you're gonna make some stuff. What am I making? Oh, all the stuff I give you. Yeah, no, I'm not. Yeah, yeah, you are. That's okay, don't worry, you'll love it. And then he did this look. I said, No, really, you're gonna love it.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

And that's 40 years of communication. So uh and Charles. Um, oh goodness, poor old Charles. But I have recruited him and John to make a farm stand.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

And they're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

I'm so um Don't be nervous.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

Your baking is well, I know, but here's the thing. Your icing is always delicious. Thank you. My burst sweet, it is it's the absolute epitome of perfect icing.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

I hate pumping things up because then it's like, oh, I have to meet it. Do you know what I mean? And that's why you do it. It's a lot. So anyway, it's an idea, and I kind of have it in my head that I'd like to try. But I'm gonna make you do it now. I know. And here's the thing when you say it out loud, and then it's like, oh gosh darn it. Now I like I feel every time I think about it and I don't do it, I feel best about it.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

I'm even gonna make you feel worse. I've done all of mine.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

I know, trust me. I've thought about it, and I'm like, and they're not even little things. You've done some pretty heavy step betters. I've I've I've done all of mine. And you are better. You're I know. I know.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

I know. Because you're cooking, baking is is phenomenal. I just love it. I do it because I'm not sure. I want that to be the whole thing between baking and cooking and and all your crafty things.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

And then I'm like, well, do I need like a little license to like bake and sell it to people? Are they just taking a risk, buying something that I made? I don't know. Anyway, I have a few things I'm all over, but in my brain, it's like it's happening in in my head. I can already see. I can have a little bit of vision.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Okay, I think you're gonna be great. I just want you to know that because you are. That's really sweet. What you cook, what you put together, what you create has always been beautiful. Well, thank you. So you are going to be phenomenal.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

I love the I love the encouragement.

SPEAKER_01 43:04

Because you are.

unknown 43:06

You are great.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

And so are you. I just like if nothing else, this podcast, you and I were great. I feel like a million bucks when I leave. I'm just gonna say it.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

So what else do we have going on for next week? Come on, one step better.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Yes. You can do it. Yes, I can.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Now, if you would like, I will even grant you another week to contemplate your stand and the beauty of your stand and the baking of your stand. And if you would like to do a slow start of that, there is going to be a table available at the steak there.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Oh, no way. I'm not brave enough for that. No, no, no, no, no. Nope, that's okay. I'd sit beside you beside you. Park it, park the idea. I'd sit beside you. Oh my gosh, Claudette. No, I need uh, but we're baby steps here. I'm a baby stepper. I'm a baby stepper. Let me Let me inch. I need to inch it along. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna inch it along. I'm gonna inch. What I'm gonna do is I do have I even went so far as to get like little stickers to put in the little back. I know. I know this is getting out of hand. It's really bad. I really just need to do it. But it's so hard. It's so hard. Anyway, let's park all of it right now. But yes, my one step better is the one that has to kick you in the butt.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

I know I want it to be you who does it all by yourself because you're a big girl.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

I am I sometimes am. Yes, I am. I am a big girl. I can put my big girl panties on and just do it. But I need to um I think I really need to come up with a action plan. Like it's all nice and fine to have ideas, but you have to have a bit of an action plan, right? So I need to let me just formulate. So this week I'm I'm committed to formulating a plan. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

Okay. All right. So I'm gonna let you formulate and then you're gonna come back next week and kind of give us a little summary of what you've done. All right. Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

Oh, also, Charles and I um planned out um little summer adventures we want to do together. I know. He's so sweety printed like a little calendar and we're like gonna like write little things on it. We're little day trips and little things we want to do for this summer because we're gonna stick close to home and do little day trips. So we have all kinds of fun little things planned.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

Could Charles kind of give John a little lesson or something? Like a little man lesson. It's like his wing and say, Johnny, Johnny, listen.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

This is what I got for you. I'll get him to I'll send him over the little spreadsheet, Charles. Charles' love language is spreadsheets.

SPEAKER_01 45:47

Yeah. Okay. So my one step better. So you see my beautiful camera. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I am going to publish at least a half a dozen of my photos. So next week, uh we've got time dedicated to just me. And I'm going to take my pictures up and down the river that I've got and what I'm gonna do. I've got some beautiful pictures of my eagle. That's right. I'm going to go out into the woods and get some beautiful pictures of wild flowers and what have you. And then I'm going to give them to you to put up on our social media. Fantastic. I know. So my camera is I've invested a small fortune in my camera.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

It's a two-hander, folks. You can't hold it with one hand. It's a you're not you're not just walking around with this in your right hand. It's a two-hander.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

It's not a phone that goes in your back pocket.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

No. You almost need something to set it off. I need my camera. Yes, the tripod.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

Yes, because I can't carry it too heavy. So, anyways, I've got my camera and I'm going to take some pictures and I'm going to give you at least a half a dozen pictures that I find that I'm proud of. That's awesome. Now, I don't use um Photoshop. I I don't use anything to make my pictures bad or big or large or small to take things in, to take things out, to brighten up the back, to whatever. So the pictures that get published are my pictures. The only thing I'm probably going to do with on Adobe is put my name at the bottom. So we put it on social media. I am concerned somebody will take a picture that I'm very proud of and then maybe, you know, make it bigger, brighter, whatever, and say it's theirs, right? So I will put my name on the picture. All right. But that's it.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

I love that. That's it. When uh we were in Boston, I got a couple of quick little things on top. When we were in Boston, when not yeah, I was with my daughters in Boston getting ready to go to Bermuda. And I had taken some pictures at the port of Boston before we got on the cruise terminal. And while I was there and I put a picture on, I had a note from the port of Boston saying, Can we use your pictures on our social?

SPEAKER_01 47:45

And you really have a good eye for a picture.

SPEAKER_00 47:47

Then they took them and they put them out on the it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

And even when we went on our walk, you had a good eye. Remember that picture of that leaf with the drip of the like I mean, you really have a you can take some, not like your your camera is phenomenal.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

You can take some good ones with your phone, but that's limited, right? You can only do. And then my other little story is when you were talking about Photoshop and oh yes. Okay, so chat GPT, okay. So I heard somebody, and this is for our friends over in Great Britain and England, is that I heard someone refer to as Chatty Petey. Oh, Chatty P. So I can't stop myself now. So when the kids were over last night, we were talking about oh, mom's using chat GPT for blah blah blah. And I'm like, no, it's chatty peady. Chatty Petey. Chat Chatty PD tells me how, you know, gives me the advice. Chatty Petey. So I have to call it Chatty Petey now. And I'm like, it's to the point where the kids are like, mom, I don't ever say that out loud. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

That's beautiful that is.

SPEAKER_00 48:41

Oh my goodness. And then uh on the communication front, I totally glazed over this. But if I'm speaking to someone who has an accent, I start doing, I adopt the accent.

SPEAKER_01 48:54

Listen to this because Janet and I get together. Oh, and I'm Irish. I can't help an hour. I'm Irish. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

The three of us in a room, and look, we're up. I can't help it. I do it and I I catch myself and then I my hairdresser, God love Louise, and I know she listens to podcasts. I just adore her to pieces. She's English and her beautiful English. Oh, and she's just the most lovely person. She's got a wonderful soul. She's doing my hair. And all of a sudden, I'll like, I'll say something. I'm like, oh my God, Sherry, stop it. She's gonna think you're like trying to repeat like weddings, or you know, my what's the word they use for an umbrella? Oh god, I said the umbrella word one day, or the trolley, or the cart at the shopping store has a you know, she calls it the name and I called it that one day, and I'm like, what am I doing? This is the most ridiculous thing in the world. Stop it, Sherry.

SPEAKER_01 49:43

Sorry, because my best I have a really good friend who's over in England. Her name is Kim. And every time she speaks, I just I love it. I absolutely love it. I do too. It's right, beautiful, right? She's just like, let's just have the most beautiful day. I just could talk to her all day. I quit, Miss Kim. I love it. And I have a friend out in Australia as well. I love her accent as well. Oh, yeah. But I'm telling you, if you sit together, I absorb whatever the accent is that's going, and I become instantly the. Oh, we go to Newfoundland. Oh, I know, and I'm a newfi.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

I mean, I starts on the ferry. I don't even know. I'm not even in Newfoundland yet. And for me, I'm just like, yes, boys, yes, boys. That's right. Body Jesus. Getting on my last nerve. It's like, stop, Sherry. Just stop it. You're not from Newfoundland. Right on now.

SPEAKER_01 50:27

Let's get going. I'm gonna be squattish now and move on. Cheerio. Cheerio. All right. With all of that being said, share us with another glorious day in the neighborhood. Anything you want to say to anybody?

SPEAKER_00 50:40

Thanks everyone for joining us again this week and spending time with us today. Specifically, we're so grateful you chose to be part of the conversation and we want to hear from you. Share your thoughts and your stories. Just say hi. You can reach us at worth the walkpodcast at gmail.com on Instagram and Facebook. And be sure to download your podcasts anywhere that you uh get your podcasts. Apple Music, Spotify, BuzzFeed, anywhere you can find your podcast. Thanks, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Thanks, everyone. Have a fantastic week. See you share. Cheerious.